There's Always a First

So i guess i should write a blog haha. So at this very moment i am quite excited that i have a blog. I've always wanted one...just never got around to making one. What's been going is going to be a very long story so i will try to make it as short as possible. So i am 18 years old, i am 4 months pregnant...well technically i'm 19 weeks and i pee very frequently haha. How i got pregnant you ask? Hmm that's where the story gets very long. Basically i thought i was in love, turns out not so much. I won't name names just because i don't want to involve him to much in my blog...yea...like that's going to happen, I'm only pregnant with his child haha. So let's just call him THE EX!!! Dun dun dun. He kind of sucks and thinks that he basically owns me, which he doesn't! I am the only one that can tell me what to do ha! Anyways he's an asshole because ever since i broke up with him he's been like stalking my friends trying to find out what I've been doing, which is really creepy considering the fact that my friends think he's a total weirdo and they're always asking me what his deal is...seriously DON'T ASK ME! If i new the answer to that i probably wouldn't be sooooooo stressed out. Sometime i feel bad for the guy, then i think of everything that's wrong with him and erase any pity i have for him in my mind.

Before i got pregnant i was...what you would call a Party Animal. Yea i liked to be single have fun and be free from guy drama. I had alot of friends that i was really close to and was always out of the house. Now i feel as if though my identity is disappearing. Ever since i got pregnant it's like people don't want you around so much....especially when there getting trashed. I went from being the life of the party....to being the buzz-kill pregnant girl that nobody wants around. So most of the time i'm stuck in the house getting bigger and bigger while my "friends" enjoy the beginning of summer. I'm excited to have a child though and even though sometimes i wish that i could still be a carefree 18 year old, i'm not and i am trying my hardest to be selfless for my unborn child. It's just hard sometimes, especially when you feel all alone. Like one side of me says hey it's only 9 months of being pregnant and bored and then i get a little baby that i can love forever. Then the other side of me says well why don't you get to go out and have any fun! Why can't i be the type of person without a heart who gets the abortion and doesn't think twice about it....but i'm not, i care to much about the life inside me to be a murderer, just to be able to have a couple drinks.

Life really sucks sometimes and good people are always judged for there choices. I'm just trying to go one more day without breaking down. That's why I've made this blog...just hoping that my life and the hard decisions i'm going threw at this point in my life can help others who might be going threw the same thing. Because honestly what's the point of living if you don't feel, the good, the bad and the ugly and how do we learn from our mistakes without making them in the first place. So if you read this comment,weather they are negative or not this is my life and now it's out in the open for the world to see...